SharonConflict is a normal part of our relationships with others. We don’t always see eye to eye with everyone about everything. How we handle conflict may differ depending on our relationship with the person. However, when there is conflict in a team which is handled poorly or goes unresolved, it leads to low morale within the team, synergy between team members is affected, and productivity slows down.
Common causes of conflict are :
- a breach of trust between individuals
- a general misunderstanding that has escalated
- miscommunication or misinterpretation of words or actions
- lack of clarity of roles and responsibilities
- increased pressure or stressful environment
- different perspectives on how things should be done
- clash of personalities
- lack of interpersonal (social) skills and problem-solving abilities.
- When working in a team, it’s up to the team leader or manager, where necessary, to intervene and take charge of the situation so that the conflict can be resolved quickly and effectively.
Here’s how :
- The first one is to improve your social skills. This involves good communication skills, having empathy and being able to motivate and influence your team. The team leader needs to stay calm.
- Secondly, don’t try to avoid conflict by brushing over an issue. Address the problem head-on. You can’t avoid conflict, but you can prevent it from escalating by dealing with the problem immediately.
- Set clear expectations – define what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour. Let your team know that rudeness, shouting, insulting, racial slurs, swearing, bullying and physical altercations will not be tolerated.
- Listen to both sides and get the whole story. Focus on the problem and not the people. Try to understand the problem; it may be necessary to get clarity by asking questions. Try to resolve the problem amicably so that both parties feel heard and that both their perspectives have been taken into consideration.
- Make a compromise as the goal. If the conflict can’t be resolved immediately, set up another meeting to resolve the conflict later when emotions are not running so high. A change of venue can also help.
- If appropriate, get the team involved in finding a solution to a problem. Listen to everyone’s ideas or viewpoints and then make a decision. It’s important that everyone is on the same page and does not create divisions within the team.
People communicate in different ways. There are three communication styles: Passive, Aggressive and Assertive.
People who are passive can come across as timid or a “pushover”. They often don’t feel heard, which can lead to feelings of frustration, anger and resentment. They are easily taken advantage of.
People who are aggressive come across as being pushy. They often dominate conversations and give their opinions forcefully and loudly. They may make others feel disrespected.
People who are assertive come across as confident, resilient and respectful. When you are assertive you have the ability to give your opinion, say how you feel, and disagree respectfully. You are able to make suggestions and voice your ideas confidently.
We also have different conflict styles. As well as being able to read the situation, the team leader also needs to be aware of the conflict styles of the people involved. The are two different conflict styles: conflict avoiders and conflict seekers. Conflict avoiders, as the name suggests, are people who are generally uncomfortable with conflict. They don’t like confrontation and are prone to ignore or avoid it if possible. Conflict seekers, on the other hand, are comfortable engaging in conflict and so are more confrontational.
Let’s look at what happens when there is a conflict between two Avoiders :
- No one addresses the issue or problem
- feelings are suppressed, which usually explode later.
In this case, the team leader will need to take the lead. Don’t allow them to shy away from the problem or issue, but take a sensitive approach to the situation.
What happens when two Seekers have a conflict :
- no one holds back
- The discussion can escalate quickly
- They may both feel disrespected
The team leader may need to set limits in regard to giving each person a chance to speak. Try to find some common ground between the parties to get them to relate to each other. As I mentioned earlier, it may be necessary to postpone the discussion until both parties have calmed down.
Next, what happens when there is conflict between an Avoider and a Seeker :
In this scenario, the team leader should ask the Avoider to be completely honest about how they feel and to engage in the conversation. Encourage the Avoider to express themselves in a direct manner. Explain to the Seeker that you expect them to remain calm and speak in a non-aggressive manner. Encourage the Seeker to be patient and allow the Avoider to speak.
- The seeker may dominate the avoider, for example, not giving them a chance to speak or get their point across
- . The Avoider may respond with a passive-aggressive approach, such as sarcasm or ignore the Seeker completely.
- The Avoider might give in too easily to what the Seeker wants.
Regardless of who is involved, always encourage patience, tolerance and active listening – listening to understand and not to respond. It means giving the other person a chance to express their opinion and exercising self-control so that each person is able to express their opinion honestly, feel heard and most importantly, understood.
We have now dealt with conflict and problem-solving within the team. But now, how do you handle a difficult client, or what do you do if the client is not satisfied with the work done?
- Make sure you listen to the client’s complaint, don’t interrupt, and don’t take it personally. Stay calm.
- Repeat back to make sure that you have understood and got all the facts. You could say something like “So, if I understand you correctly ….”. You can ask questions if needed to clarify.
- Acknowledge the problem and apologise if appropriate. Be courteous and respectful.
- Address how you are going to fix the problem. Offer a solution or discuss options for fixing the problem.
- Act quickly. In other words, don’t delay in fixing the problem.
- Keep your promises. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you promise to have it fixed by a certain date or time, make sure you do.
- Follow up. Give the client feedback that the problem has been addressed and solved.
There will always be problems and conflicts when working with or dealing with other people. If you follow the guidelines set out above, you will find it much easier to resolve conflicts and solve problems effectively.